Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
