YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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