no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
