Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
