Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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