You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
