He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
