Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
