WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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