Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
