Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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