at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
