on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
