I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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