You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
