going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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