TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
