Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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