Where are you?
In a non slutty way
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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