Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
