I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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