i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So gin and wine won't be happening again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
