how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
