Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
