I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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