I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
