i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
