I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
