im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
