At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
