oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Alive.
So much puke
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
