Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
