tell your sister to shave her snatch
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
