I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
