I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
