I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Everyone says I win the strip club
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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