i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
