is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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