but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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