Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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