I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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