Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
