i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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