You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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