time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
