i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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