My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
