What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
