U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
