Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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