East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
